I haven’t written anything here for the past few months.
I lost my passion on writing? Not really.
I had no urge to write? Maybe.
Busy? Yes. Sort of.
No inspiration? Well. Definitely no.
I just don’t know what to write. I was overwhelmed with all the things happened for the past months.
Too many circumstances that I didn’t know how to put into writing.
Too many emotions and moments that I experienced for the first time.
Too many waiting times, frustrations, happiness, tiresome days, gladness and surprises. I didn’t know how to put them all together in one.
I don’t know when I’m gonna write here again, a good one, but one thing I’m sure about, I will still write, research and technical writings though.
See you again WordPress!
The small things you do for a woman are the ones that mean the most. Why? Because those are the things that show her you’re willing to put effort in for her, just because. No holiday or special occasion needed.
A good boyfriend or husband knows that any man who waits until Valentine’s day to romance the woman in his life is missing the point 364 days out of the year. He also understands that while grand romantic gestures are great, the thought put into everyday activities is even better.
Here are eight small things that actually have a big impact.
1. Make her feel beautiful, every day.
This one seems obvious. Internet Romeos everywhere are reading this going “Hey man, I call girls beautiful every day!” I don’t mean just telling a woman she’s beautiful – any guy can do that. I mean make her deeply feel, in her heart, that you think…
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I felt like a star hung up the sky
As I watched over you
From a thousand miles away
Now I’m getting used to
You took it all away
I don’t feel it anymore.
You brought me to your universe
The best feeling I’ve ever had
Yet you let me became a meteorite
And to a new planet I was crushed
You took it all away
I don’t feel it anymore.
When you move, my world used to slow
You were my sun, my center of motion
You were my dusk and my beautiful dawn
But you disappeared under the moon
You took it all away
I don’t feel it anymore.
You were the waves, I was your ocean
My constant muse, you were my soul
Then you left me with bruises and
The brightest colours were now fading
You took it all away
I don’t feel it anymore.
My constant muse, I used to
I swear, I was completely into
But you took it all away
And I don’t feel it anymore.
It started with a dream but I didn’t realize it until I saw all those thousands of pagodas, temples and Buddhas. It was maybe October of 2014, I had this very weird dream. In my dream I was looking at a gigantic image made of gold located in front of high mountains. It was too huge and shiny that I couldn’t get my eyes out of it. Until, in my dream a group of familiar faces called my name and that ended my dream. I shared my dream to a few people but I didn’t think much about it. I actually almost forgot it.
A year after I travelled to a country I never thought of visiting of. It was not actually in my bucket list. Well, I didn’t know much about the country except for its golden temples and what I learned from my history classes. At first, I had lots of hesitations. Well, I needed to consider a lot of things- financially wise and time. However, my barefoot friend (yes! You’ll know why later) Cherry insisted for me to go with her. I thought about it for like a hundred times maybe. I didn’t tell her of my dream. I even didn’t think of it. Then suddenly, one night, she asked me again and in just a snap, I agreed with her. So yeah, we planned our itineraries and expected expenses, coordinated with people we knew who are currently living there, and prepared ourselves for an extreme girls’ adventure.
August 24-28, 2015, we visited the golden land of Myanmar.
I have to be honest first though before sharing about the beauty of travelling to Myanmar. It was certainly a culture shock. Everything was new, unfamiliar and surprising. First off, when you get to the airport or bus stations, a lot of unknown faces will ask you where you’re going and somehow insist or force you to ride in their vehicles. That was crazy! Secondly, the guys love to chew this red chewable fruit also known as areca palm nut (nganga in Philippines) and spit it everywhere- like everywhere. Then you’ll see red spots or leaks on the road. Thirdly, the mode of transportation. I am currently staying in Malaysia and I must say Malaysia has a fabulous road system and mode of transportation (although it’s a test of patience and waiting). Anyhow, it was really surprising to see old buses on the road with open sides where you can see the feet of a passenger swaying outside. Seriously! Traffic jam was also heavy but that doesn’t make any difference to other nations. But their kind of driving, it was OMG! Scary! Fourthly, every act of kindness has a monetary value. Aside from too expensive costs of food and stuff, it was really surprising that whatever people offer to you- taking pictures, finding a good spot, helping you with your stuff- they would ask for a dollar. Lastly, it was also noticeable that most of the locals are still awkward to give a smile. Their faces look sad. It felt like there’s something in their hearts that they still don’t know how to express. It’s as if they’re not used to being happy.
All of these things are not criticisms. Yes I learned to love Myanmar despite of all the not so beautiful worldly things I saw and experienced there. Well, the two of us almost got into trouble but thanks be to the Most High, we were safe and sound. Those experiences are even greater reasons why you and I should love Myanmar. It’s a country where we should give out more love- just pure love. They need to be loved. It’s all about love. You’ll understand where I am getting all these when you are actually there. So, get out of your sofa now and make a tent in that golden place!
More than all those crazy experiences, I saw beautiful creations of man and of God. Myanmar locals are honestly beautiful people inside and out. It’s just their situation that hides the beauty in them that to which newbies couldn’t see at first. Myanmar locals are worth to spend time with. They’ve got beautiful sceneries and artworks which were made centuries ago- the fruits of dedication, hardwork and passion. They are indeed talented human beings. You can see it to the works of their hands- the golden temples, pagodas and Buddhas in Bagan and Yangon. They have rich and interesting cultural history. The trip would be incomplete without exploring the taste of Myanmar. The taste of their food is authentic. I haven’t tasted like that before. I couldn’t compare it to other Asian food. They have similar dishes with Malaysia and Philippines but it has a different kind of spice. Our local Myanmar friend also suggested to try YKKO’s kyay oh to complete our food trip. She was right, the adventure is incomplete without it! It’s the best noodle soup I’ve ever tasted so far.
Walking inside the temples and pagodas was the extreme challenge. It wasn’t because they were too high or steep or whatever. It wasn’t because it was tiring. We didn’t have time for tiresome and boredom during the trip. It was because we walked on our barefoot going inside the pagodas and temples. There’s actually nothing wrong walking barefooted. It’s just very challenging to walk on your barefoot under extreme heat! I almost cried because my feet were already hurting. It was really hard to walk with burning feet! That is why we are the “barefoot friends”. Amazingly, we were able to conquer it!
I believe greater things are yet to come in that golden land. Greater things are still to be done. Yet it is still a beautiful and wonderful world after all! With that, I must say I love Myanmar from every tiny bit of it. My heart was so touched of its past stories that I almost wept in tears. Then I realized, I love Malaysia and Philippines more today than yesterday. Lol
Don’t get me wrong, I honestly seriously love Myanmar from the deepest core of my being. I learned and realized a lot of things. It was a fun filled learning experience. Seeing all those golden Buddhas and temples made me realized I almost missed that chance of witnessing what God wants me to see. He had given me a dream and I almost missed the opportunity of experiencing that dream. He had given me a dream to clear things in my mind and heart then he made it into reality. What an awesome God!
From a dream to reality, Chei-zu tin-bar-te Myanmar!
[Kung may “Ang huling tulang isusulat ko para sa’yo” si Juan Miguel Severo, narito naman ang aking huling liham para sa kung kanino man ang liham na ito] Ito ang #hugotletter para sa lahat ng nafriend zone at natutong magmove on.
Para sa kung kanino man ang huling liham na ito,
Sa totoo lamang hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan at tatapusin ang liham na ito. Hindi ko alam kung saan ito patutungo, sa iyong puso ba na tila sarado o sa utak mong hangad ko’y kahit paano ay naroon ako. Marami akong nais sambitin pero hindi ko magawa. Marami akong nais itanong pero hindi ko magawa. Marami akong nais na marinig na kasagutan sa lahat ng katanungang bumubulong sa aking isipan, ngunit hindi ko magawa. Nalilito ako na para bagang hindi ko alam kung tama ba ang lahat ng ito- ang sabihin ang mga katagang “salamat at paalam”. Nalilito ako dahil maaring sa pagkakataong ito ay hindi mo pa rin alam, hindi mo pa rin ramdam. Nalilito ako dahil hindi ko man lamang alam kung lahat ng ito ay may saysay.
Nalilito ako kung anong akda ba ang nararapat para sabihin ang lahat ng salitang tila may gamit na miktinig dahil sa lakas ng tunog ng mga ito na halos aking ikabingi. Tama ba na liham, o dapat bang isang saknong, parirala kaya o isang taludtod o dapat din bang isang tula na lamang? Subalit sa dami ng sa akin ay gumugulo, aking napagtanto na akma ang isang liham na tulad nito. Noong una ako ay nag-aalinlangan subalit tila ba may isang balani na humihimok sa akin para likhain ang liham na ito.
Sisimulan ko ang lahat sa pasasalamat. Salamat sa iyo. Hindi ko na alam kung makailang beses ko na itong nawika pero uulit ulitin ko dahil sa napakaraming bagay na sobrang ipinagpapasalamat ko dahil sa tulad mo. Salamat sa mga panahong ikaw ay nagsilbing araw sa buhay kong tila wala ng bagong umaga. Lahat ng iyong nagawa para sa akin ay mahirap ilagay sa isang banghay o di kaya naman ay gamitan ng batayang panukat. Dahil sa totoo lamang, walang katumbas ang lahat ng iyon. Salamat sa lahat ng iyong kuwento, ngiti at suporta. Salamat sa pagiging tunay na karamay.
Ngayon ay akin itong tatapusin sa isang paalam. Paalam sapagkat sa lahat ng nangyari sa nakaraan ito na lang ang alam kong maaari ko pang sabihin. Paalam sapagkat ito na lamang ang salitang sa akin ay natitira. Paalam sa sakit na maaaring hindi mo naramdaman, sa sugat na aking dinala at sa luhang hindi mo nakita. Paalam sapagkat ito ang salitang akma na manggaling sa tulad kong nakaramdam ng higit pa sa tulad mong ang tingin ay kaibigan lang pala. Paalam dahil matapos akong magbulay-bulay, aking napaglinaw sa sarili na kaya ko, kaya ko kung hanggang doon lamang talaga ang meron sa atin. Paalam sapagkat tulad ng isang ibong nasugatan ang bagwis at ngayon ay patuloy na naghihilom, matapos ng lahat ng ito, muli akong makalilipad sa isang bagong bughaw ng himpapawid kahit na wala ka. Paalam na tulad ng bukas na hindi na magiging bukas o ng ngayong hindi naging ngayon. Paalam tulad ng isang bahaghari, unti unting naglalaho subalit sa iyong pagsilay ay nag-iwan ng makulay na alaala.
Heto na ang lahat ng aking nais sabihin subalit hindi ko na nagawa at hindi ko na gagawin, hindi ko na sasabihin ng harapan at idadaan ko na lang sa liham. Huwag kang mag-alala, ako’y walang poot, ni konting himutok sa iyo aking giliw. Dahil ang hinagpis na ito ay batid kong kasalanan ko, kasalanan ko na mabuhay sa panaginip na alam kong kailanma’y hindi magiging totoo. Panalagin ko na kahit paano ay hindi mo malimutan ang makailang beses na naroon ako sa mga panahong kailangan mo rin ng kaibigan, karamay, hingahan, at kasama sa kung saan man. Naroon ako kahit na ang katawan ko na ang nagsasabi na hindi ko na kaya pa ang magbigay ng lakas at panahon. Naroon ako kapag kailangan mo ng suporta sabihin mo lamang kung saan at kailan. Batid ko din na mayroon ng iba, kaya mas pinili ko na ibahin ang daang aking tatahakin. Magpakalayu-layo hanggang sa ang laman ng puso ay maglaho. Martir man kung tawagin subalit datapwat ito ang alam kong tamang gawin. Tanging hiling ko lamang sa iyo ay nawa’y iyo paring isaklit lahat ng ating alaala para sa kung himalang ang mundo natin ay magkabaliktad, dala mo ito upang sa akin ay ipaalala.
Sa ngayon, hindi na ako aasa na may lugar sa ating dalawa. Tinanggap ko na at handa na akong suungin ang bagong buhay. Ika nga ng isang awitin, “Tuloy pa din ang awit buhay ko, magbago man ang hugis ng puso mo”. Magsusulat ako ng bagong kabanata na kung saan ay hindi ka na karakter sa lahat ng pahina nito. Tulad ng isang talata na tinapos ng tuldok, ito na maaari ang huling liham na isusulat ko para sa’yo. Hindi. Ito na ang huling liham na isusulat ko para sa’yo.
My heart bleeds for the life of Mary Jane and other victims of human trafficking, greed for money and the likes. I remember when I went back home just recently, I met a Filipina maid in the airport who fortunately had the chance to escape from her abusive employer. She reported it to her agency but, unfortunately, the agency just kept her in their office, told her not to tell the story to anyone. She was not allowed to give calls or go out of the office. She was still in fear the day I met her. So where was the PH government in this situation? Trust issues? Ignorance of the law? That I don’t know. She needed encouragements that time more than the questions. Undoubtedly, the PH embassy wasn’t informed. No one was there to assist her. She was given a flight ticket back to PH with only 50 pesos in her pocket. None of her relatives were there when she arrived. It was really heartbreaking.
To the Indonesian government: The Filipino people are not requesting for pardon, we just want a just and fair investigation. We respect your law, that’s why appeals were submitted. The law was created to protect the innocent and to punish the guilty. What if she is really innocent? What’s the point of your law? All we want is respect for truth; we are just fighting for a life that is worth saving for. Killing MJ does not mean victory over drug syndicates. It is actually giving them more opportunities and new strategies to use innocent people to do their thing.
To PH Government: #%$!!!!!!@@@@!!***%%%%%!!!!! T T
To everyone: If we want a positive change, we should start the change that we want NOW. We all argue whether to push death penalty or not. We all argue what punishment should be given to all those who did crimes and the likes. We all argue whether people can change for the better. We all argue in everything that we don’t understand and even to those we understand. But the thing is, before we argue with these things, let us have a moment with ourselves. What are you doing to change the world? Is it for the better? Is it for your own benefit? Is it for the sake of the future generations? How do you value life? How do you value others? Is it worth doing? Or is it worth living? TAKE ACTION!
Getting up for school has always been a challenge for most of us- from primary to secondary to undergraduate degree to post graduate thing. So, as for me, the day I finished my undergraduate studies, I never thought of taking a post graduate course. Until one day, I heard a nudge from my soul. It was a moment of realization and clarity. At last, I knew what I really wanted to do. After all those years, I finally discover the thing that I am passionate of. There, I decided to apply for a post graduate course outside the country. It was a leap of faith and courage. I took the road less traveled.
The real thing has finally begun. I am doing my thesis’ data collection for more than a month now. And I still have almost 4 months to go. The truth is- it’s extremely exciting yet very exhausting. I have to get up early in the morning almost every day. It’s like catching Mr. Sunrise before he finally becomes a skin-darkening star. Then, I travel like a backpacker for almost 2 hours using three different transports in a country that is miles away from my homeland. The moment I reach my research site, the serious thing is already in place. At the site, believe it or not, all I have to do is to observe the activities of the monkeys and their existing conflicts with humans. All day, I need to be prepared, shielded, on-the-go and be alert for all the grins and attacks. Sometimes, or most of the time, I have a stone and a long stick with me for self defense. I need to walk a number of times in an almost one kilometer trail back and forth. It is not just a simple trail though. It goes up and up and up until you feel the shaking of your legs and heartbeat. I try not to eat and convince my self not to, even if I’m starving whenever there are monkeys around. Oh, just so you know, they always want a share, or I must say, they want everything. All of these are what I needed to love for 10 hours- the longest 10 hours of my life.
However, when you love what you are doing and you are passionate with it, you will always find a way to be motivated.
Yes. It is exhausting.
Yes. It is dead tiring.
Yes. It is scary.
Yes. It is challenging.
Yet if it is your passion, it’s as if you are overdosed with energy drinks with an additional dose of motivation, excitement and happiness. There are times that you will be physically and emotionally challenged, but the moment you know what you really want to do, what you are made for, what you want to achieve and what your dreams are for, you will get up every friggin’ morning and you will finish your task with all your might even if it feels like it’s the longest and most backbreaking hour of your life.
“To succeed you have to believe in something with such a passion that it becomes a reality”- Anita Roddick
I still couldn’t see the finish line but I believe that there is something somewhere there. All I have to do is to believe and to continue the passion.
How about you? What are you passionate about in your life?
If it’s worth it, get it! Here’s a sticky note for you. When we talk of passion- “It’s not about where your starting point is, but your end goal and the journey that will get you there.” Unknown
Passion is the key to motivation, motivation includes passion, and success is the end product of passion and motivation.Passion deserves hard work and sacrifice. Make your passion be a motivation and make your motivation be your passion.
May I introduce to you my friends to whom I offer my passion and motivation:
Panibagong araw na naman. Kamusta ka? Ako heto, simula na naman ng pagtahak sa buhay mag-isa- umagahan, tanghalian hanggang hapunan. Kumain ako mag-isa kanina, sumakay sa mga pampublikong transportasyon habang napapaligiran ng mga taong hindi ko kilala, naglakad sa gilid ng daan ng napakaaga habang nagsisimula pa lamang ang bukang liwayway ng walang kasama. May miminsang makakausap ng ibang tao pero syempre pansamantala lang ang lahat. Sa ngayon, nasa harap na naman ako ng aking makina, nagbabasa ng mga sulatroniko, nagbubukas ng mga panginain, at sinusuri ang mga nabubuksang kawingan. Napapaisip ako, kelan kaya tayo makakapagpalitang kwento? Kelan na magpapanagpo ang ating mga mata? Kailan natin magkasamang maririnig ang ating paboritong himig? Kailan kaya tayo iindak ng sabay sa iisang tugtugin? Mga tanong na kay hirap sagutin at wala tayong pedeng gawin kung hindi ang maghintay.
Nararamdaman mo na ba ang pagod? Kanina ka pa kasi tumatakbo sa utak ko. Anong pinagkakabalahan mo? Kung ano man yan, hangad ko ang iyong tagumpay at wagas na kaligayahan. Huwag ka masyadong magpaka-Superman o Spiderman. Alam mo na, wala silang oras para sa pag-ibig, baka hindi na magtagpo nyan ang ating mundo. Gusto mo ba yun? Ako ayoko. Kaya hindi ako masyadong nagpapaka Darna para pagdumating yung panahon na sabay tayong lilipad sa ere, tayo na ang magkasama. Walang kahit sino, tayo lang habang tinitingnan ang ganda ng mundo mula sa himpapawid.
Panahon na naman ng pag-ibig. Anong gagawin mo sa eksaktong araw ng mga puso? Magpakasaya ka dahil yun din ang gagawin ko. Ayos lang kung may kasama ka ngayon basta kapag dumating na ang panahon na sabay at magkasama na nating ipagdidiwang iyon, dapat iyon ang best day ever. Kung ako ang tatanungin mo kung ano ang gagawin ko, isa lang naman ang ginagawa ko taon taon, yun ay ang hintayin ka. Naghihintay lang ako. Dito lang ako hangga’t nariyan ka. Nandito lang ako maghihintay sa’yo. Ayokong hanapin ka baka kasi iba pa ang makita ng aking makita. Huwag kang mag-alala, bukas ang landas patungo sa akin. Pinabuksan ko na sa Kay Bathala para sa’yo. Eh sa malakas ako sa kanya dahil marikit naman ako at bilang ako ang nagsabi. Magkita na lang tayo doon sa may ilalim ng araw at tumalon tayo ng tumalon sa saya, sabi nga sa Summer song. Saka kapag naririnig ko ang awiting Forevermore, pakiramdam ko ako si Agnes at ikaw ang aking Xander. Maari rin bang malaman ko kung anong tugtugin ang nagpapaalala na ako’y sa’yo at ika’y aking lamang? Nais ko sanang idagdag sa aking talaan.
Huwag mo kalilimutang ngumiti, nakatutulong yun hindi lamang sa’yo kundi pati na rin sa ibang tao. Gusto ko yung laging may ngiti sa iyong labi kahit na anong lungkot o pangit ng araw mo. Baka kasi pagmagkasalubong tayo, sungitan mo ako. Iniisip ko pa lamang kasi parang ang sarap sa pakiramdam kapag nakangiti ka patungo sa akin. Huwag kang mag-alala pipilitin ko ding gawin yun para sa’yo. Ang sarap isipin ang araw ng ating pagtatagpo. Kung nagkasama naman na tayo sa ibang pagkakataon, nakakagalak ding balikan nang mga pagkakataon yaon. Paniguradong mula bukang liwayway hanggang takip silim ay hindi tayo magsasawang magkwentuhan; kung saan lahat ng ating bukam bibig ay may kahulugan -bawat pintig, bawat salita, bawat tono, bawat hinga.
Hanggang dito nalang muna. Ayoko kasing maubusan ng sasabihin kapag nagtagpo na tayo. Marami akong ikukwento alam ko ikaw din. Relaks lang muna tayo at maging mas magandang bersyon ng ating mga sarili hanggang sa makita natin ang isa’t isa. Mag-iingat ka parati. Alagaan mo ang iyong sarili.
Ang iyong Oriang
Para sa pamilya, kaibigan at nagmamalasakit sa mga TAGAPAGLIGTAS,
Maaring marami sa atin ang hindi sila kilala o ngayon lamang nalaman ang patungkol sa Special Action Force ng PNP. Ang ilan ay nakakakilala ng lubos sa kanila tulad ng pamilya at kaibigan. Marahil marami sa atin ang nagtatanong kung ano ba ang totoong nangyari? Bakit humantong sa trahedya at pagbubuwis ng buhay ang enkwentro sa Mindanao? Ano ang tunay na nangyari sa 44 na SAF officers? Hanggang sa kasalukuyan maraming tanong pa ang gumugulo sa ating lahat. Nariyan ang mga pagdududa at hinanakit sa kasalukuyang pamahalaan. Ang totoo, hindi ko na din mawari kung ano na ba talaga ang ipinaglalaban ng mga terorista? Bakit kailangang pumatay at magdulot ng kaguluhan para sa pansariling layunin? Ano ba talaga ang magiging balik nito sa kanila? Magulo. Oo. Naguguluhan na ako. Magulo dahil buhay na ang kapalit ng lahat.
Gayunpaman, sa gitna ng pagdadalamhati ng bansa sa nangyaring ito, ito ang panahon na mas kinakailangan nating maging isa, maging matatag at matapang sa lahat ng pinagdadaan ng bawat isa sa atin. Sa ganitong paraan hindi masasayang ang dugo at buhay na ibinuwis ng 44 na tagapagligtas. Aaminin ko wala akong kilala sa kanila. Pero ramdam ko ang hapdi. Sa ngayon, ang panalangin ko ay hustisya sa 44 na SAF officers.
Noon, may narinig akong tanong na sobrang tumatak sa isip ko. Sa panahon ngayon, ano ang maaring maitatak o maiwan ng bagong henerasyon sa ating bayan? Ano ang pwedeng gawin ng henerasyong ito na maaring maisama sa kasaysayan ng bansa o maisulat man lamang sa mga pampaaralang aklat. Napaisip ako. Ano nga ba? Nawalan ako ng maisagot ngayong tayo ay kuntento na sa ibinibigay sa atin ng syensya. Hanggang sa dumating ang isa sa pinakamadilim na araw sa ating bansa, Araw na nasaksihan ng henerasyon ngayon. Nakakalungkot na malaman ng sa murang edad ng mga nasawi, maraming pangarap din ang nailibing. Malungkot. Masakit. Ngunit sa kabila nito, nawa’y di natin makalimutan ang nagawa nila para sa bansa. Bilang kasama sa henerasyong ito, ako ay saludo sa kanilang katapangan at paninindigan para sa tungkulin. Hiling ko sa aking mga kahenerasyon na kumilos para sa bayan kahit sa simpleng paraan. Tama na ang selfie, DOTA, COC at kung anun ano pa. Kailangan nating kumilos para sa pangmatagalang pagkakaunawaan ng ating bansa. Maging simula tayo ng pagbabago para sa katahimikan at kaligtasan. Hindi man natin lahat magawa ang nagawa ng SAF para sa bayan, tandaan sana natin na marami tayong pwedeng magawa- isa na ang simpleng pag-alala sa kanila.
Paalam mga Dakilang Bayani! Walang katapusang pasasalamat at pagsaludo!